Thursday, August 19, 2010

You Hooked A Whale, Baby!

We've been praying, hoping, and waiting for something good to happen. A month ago, my husband lost his job. A job he had for 6 years. I think we both knew that his time at that company was coming to an end. He had come in at the bottom and worked his way up as high as he could go. They didn't want to pay him  anymore money and they didn't want to promote him any higher.
In some ways leaving that company was a blessing. He was overworked and underpaid. But it was a job. And everyone knows jobs are hard to come by in this economy.

Yesterday, he got a job offer from one of the companies he interviewed with. The job was what he liked to do in the IT field. The pay was just a little more than his last job. Full benefits starting next month. A good company. One that has a long standing in the Kansas City area. Everything looked like this was going to be the place where my husband was going to land.

Then this morning came. He had a phone interview yesterday with another company, another big name. This one is more well known. The recruiter for the job called early this morning. My husband thought he was just calling to set up a face to face interview.
How wrong he was....

They were offering him the job. Never even met him in person and are offering him the job based solely on the phone interview.
He will be on a 6 month contract to hire. Full benefits start next month, all being paid for by the recruiting company, 3 sick days, and a week vacation all to start. Not to mention the pay.....
The pay is outstanding.... mind blowing.... unbelievable.... I can't think of enough words to describe this offer.
Life changing....

All our prayers have been answered. Like I told my husband...
Ya hooked a whale, baby. I'm proud of you!
Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Please, please.....

We've had a change of plans since I last posted. We are still in the Kansas City area.
 On Friday, Dennis got an email about a possible job offer for here in Kansas City area. He contacted them, interviewed with the recruiting agency that same day and yesterday he interviewed with the actual company.
He thinks the interview went well. He was there for over 3 hours interviewing with the various IT staff.

We have our fingers crossed and have been praying that this works out. The girls really do not want to leave this area. They love their school, their friends and just everything.
Me and Dennis would be thrilled if he gets the job. It's more money than his last job, a smaller environment and back to doing what he loved doing in IT.

So please please be praying that this works out. We really need this job or any good paying job at this point.
Thursday, August 5, 2010

It's really happening!

We get the moving truck on Saturday. The house is filled with boxes, some full, some half full. Ones still waiting to be filled with the past 6 years of our Missouri life.
The girls are trying to squeeze in as many hours with their friends as they can. There have been tears. Lots of tears. Some my own. Most coming from Katie, the oldest. Mary, youngest, if she has cried. It has been in private, away from all of us.

He doesn't have the job yet. But he is taking care of the issue that is the hold up with a lawyer friend of ours. And he has quite of few people wanting to talk to him down in MS too.

I've always hated packing. Even from when he was in the Army.

As I type this my husband is asking what has me tip tapping some much over here in my recliner.
He mimics "My husband is soooo mean. He's an ass. He's making me pack and move."  Does that sound about right he asks me.

Yeah sure, I grin and have to duck my feet away before he attempts to tickle them.

Back to the packing. Does anyone else get overwhelmed by it all. I look around at all our stuff and wonder where to start. How do I start? It all seems to be so much. If I had all the money in the world. I would pay someone to just come in and do it all for me. But  then I'd probably obsess that they were sniffing my underwear or my husband's.

We are going to be traveling this weekend. Our last day in Missouri being Sunday. Or Monday depending on how much driving we want to do.
Come the middle of next week we won't be stuck in the Mid-West anymore. We'll be a Yankee guy and a southern belle in the Dirty South.
Monday, August 2, 2010

What's Up

What has happened since I last posted??
  • We went down to MS so Dennis could interview for the IT job at the Medical College.
  • He soared through the interview.
  • 2 days later HR called him to come back and do a background check and drug test.
  • We came back home to a house with a broken air conditioner.
  • Crazy landlord wouldn't pay for a hotel room so we stayed in a somewhat hot house overnight.
  • Lucky for us (and the landlord) the air was fixed the very next day.
  • Today Dennis gets a call that there is a glitch with his background check. Something about a misdemeanor from over 12 years ago. He has to get proof that this is a non issue and has been taken care of or he won't get the job.
  • We are praying PRAYING that this all gets taken care of and he gets the job.


    Keep us in your prayers that my husband has favor for this job. Everything up until this has gone so good. Everything had been done. He took his picture for his ID badge, salary had been decided on. We had started looking at rentals and started the process of packing.

    We just need all the prayers and good thought and vibes we can get.






Tuesday, July 20, 2010

CSN Review

A little while back I told you about a review I was going to be doing for www.csnstores.com . I decided to get my husband something. His birthday was on June 15 and Father's Day soon followed.
My husband loves to play soft tip darts. He used to be on a league when we were stationed in Oklahoma. He has been wanting to get back into a league and our old dart board was on its last legs. So I got him this one: Viper 777 Electronic Dart Board
He loves it. www.CSNStores.com was great to work with. My order came quick and was delivered by FedEx.


*** I was given a $50 gift certificate from www.csnstores.com to use. I gave my honest review of the above product and their store. **
Friday, July 16, 2010

Holding On To Hope

It should make us nervous, fill us with anxiety. Instead all we feel is sweet relief. My husband said when he was told those words, he felt like a weight had been lift from his shoulders and that he could finally breathe again.
What happened you ask?
Yesterday my husband was fired from his job. After being there for 6 years, busting his ass from them working long nights weekends, etc...he was fired. For a mistake that no one would have ever known about had my husband not told on himself. I don't want to go into too many details just yet, but it was a mistake, something made after he had worked almost 2 days straight.

We should feel anxious right now. He is the only income coming in. But we don't. All of us feel sweet relief. Our daughter Mary actually laughed about it. She was happy. Now Daddy wouldn't be on the computer all the time, his cell phone wouldn't be going off when we try to go out to dinner, go to the movies. We could have family time without being interrupted.

He does have a interview coming up. If he gets that job it would mean that we would be moving back to my home state. And he has quite a few contacts around this area too. I know he'll be back to work in no time.

Until then, we're just holding on to hope.
Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Incoming!!

Some of you might remember the giveaway I did awhile back. Well, the good people over at CSN stores have chosen me as a preferred blogger/webmaster. YAY! If you haven't already checked them out, you should. They have over 200 stores with a variety of items.
From kids bedding, kitchen stuff, you can even get a  bathroom vanity. So if you need to remodel your bathroom, check them out to get your bathroom vanity.
This time I'm going to do a review for them. Just in time for my daughter's 14th birthday.
So be watching this spot for my upcoming review.
Friday, April 16, 2010

Winner of the Book Giveaway!!

The winner of the book giveaway is.... drumroll..............................................................

Christine!!!!!
Congrats! Please email me your info so I can get the book out to you! angelsdream76 @ yahoo . com . Just shoot me an email please.



This week has been hectic! Oh my God is all I can say! I finished with my last class for this term, Behaviorial Health, a combination of psychology, sociology and anthropology. My last paper came back as passing on Tuesday! What a sweet relief it is. Next term starts in May. I just have to decide which classes I want to take. No Math, please no Math.

Things are not so good at my husband's work. In fact they just outright suck booty!! He's worked there for 6 years. Hasn't gotten a raise in almost 4 years. He is the jack of all trades in this company. He gets called at 3 in the morning to take care of things, is the first one to volunter to do maintanence windows, swapped positions recently just so they could keep 2 people without firing anybody. It just seems like they are taking advantage of him. Somethings that recently happened are seriously having him considering openly searching for another job.

Oh well... it's just life....

Hope everyone has a wonderful weekend. Congrats again to the winner.

Stay tuned for another giveaway.
Monday, April 12, 2010

Forget Me Not Book Tour and Giveaway!

Forget Me Not by Vicki Hinze is an edge of your sear thriller. A crisis center owner, Benjamin Brandt's world is turned upside down by the murder of his wife and son. Ben loses his faith and questions why. The only thing that keeps him going is to find out who killed his family and why.
When a mysterious woman who looks just like his deceased wife and is carrying his wife's necklace shows up at the crisis center,  the mystery gets even stranger and deeper. It becomes a dangerous situation for both Ben and the woman now known as Karen.
This is a book that you will not be able to put down! I know I couldn't. I had to find out how it would end.
This is a book about faith lost and faith kept.

I was given a copy of this book to review by WalterBrookMultnomah.com and I have one to giveaway.

If you would like to win a copy of this book, leave a comment below. To get some extra entries, just follow my blog and follow me on twitter.

I'll announce the winner on Friday.

Good Luck and Happy Monday!
Monday, April 5, 2010

Rain rain

How was everyone's Easter or Passover? We went to church, had a wonderful service and then headed out to the husband's parents house for dinner. Yummy ham, turkey and the fixins. YUM! Wish I had some of those leftovers to chow down on!

We are still praying and believing for this job opportunity back home. (My home) I just need my family during this time in my life. I need someone that can go with my to doctor's appointments, instead of my husband having to take off work to go with me. Or just to be there for support.

I'm really hurting this morning. I don't know if it is the weather or what. But my chest feels like someone is squeezing my lungs. I've used my inhalers, used my oxygen, but it's still hurting. I've even heated up the rice sock to use. Nothing is working. *Sigh*

It might be stress. Lots of things going on in the house. Problems with the teen, just back talking, lying about school work, etc...
Worried about money, worried about health...

But I know it will all get better. It will, nothing lasts forever.

Hope everyone had a wonderful weekend and hope your week is awesome.
Thursday, April 1, 2010

April Fool's Day

All day long, I've been looking around, just waiting for something to have been done. I carefully tasted the sugar in the bowl before putting some in my coffee. I checked the kitchen sprayer before turning on the water. I looked at door knobs suspiciously before touching them. All in preperation for something. Some joke pulled on me by my 2 jokester daughters.
I've even been looking at my friend's tweets and facebook status a bit sideways. Ya never know. Is it truth or a joke?

When I was a kid, I loved April Fools day. I would put salt in the sugar bowl, tape the kitchen sprayer and put vaseline on the door knobs. I kinda got in some trouble for going overboard.
A few years ago, me and the husband told the girls I was pregnant. They fell for it hook, line and sinker. Never laughed so hard in my life. I don't know what was funnier, their looks of disbelief about having a "baby brother or sister" or realizing their parents have sex!

The one I am really worried about pulling a prank is Mary, the youngest. She is a bit devious. This morning I said "Happy April Fools Day."
She kind of gave me that "I'm thinking of doing something bad" grin. And said "Hey Mom, SNAKE!"

I'm terrified of snakes. I don't mean just a little "ewww... they're slimey, weird." I mean full on panic attack, almost faint, can't see them on tv or even see a fake plastic toy one! I will flip out!

I'm afraid she will bring home a fake one and I will end up passing slap out! God help me!
Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Hateful

I don't know why, but yesterday I just felt hateful. Yes, hateful. I was irritated by everything. Yes, that time of the month is coming soon. The time when I feel like a Hungry Hippo let loose in a marble factory. I can't get full, feel like I could suffucate my husband with a pillow and the bloat, well the bloat is something I don't want to talk about.

Maybe it is because I have gained weight since I quit smoking and got sick. None of my clothes fit anymore. Cept 2 pairs of jeans and a few pairs of dress slacks I have from the last time I quit smoking and the weight gain came.
I complained... Okay, well whined to my husband last night after he came home that I didn't have any shorts or pants that fit anymore.
He must have left his brain at work or had a man brain fart because he said this.
"Well, you've got 2 choices either buy new clothes or go on a diet."

Now maybe this shouldn't have hurt my feelings like it did. But it really did. It stung. Like he had just said, "Go on a diet fat ass!"

I've also had somewhat of a body image problem. Not like aneroxia or bulima issues. Just issues with how I look.  After my mom died I gained weight, not a lot but it was noticable. And I tend to gain weight in my lower belly, or my pouch as I call it. A group of girls decided that it must be because I was pregnant and strarted that rumor. Image being 15 and having that rumor started about you around school. So you have to deal with your mom dying and kids thinking you are pregnant. FUN! not!
My dad would also pick on my mom about her weight. It wasn't mean spirited, just him joking but my mom always took it to heart. 

I think guys just don't realize how our weight affects us. They don't know that when we ask if we look fat or complain about not fitting in our clothes the proper response is:

"You fat? You look gorgeous!"

"You're not fat. You're perfect."

"I love you just the way you are." Okay so I stole that one.

But guys do you see a trend there. Take note and follow that.
Monday, March 29, 2010

TV Round Up

I watch way too much television. In my defense though, I am usually watching tv while reading a book or writing a paper for whatever class I am taking. Lucky for me none of my papers have contained the following sentences:

"If that was my husband I would smother him in his sleep!" Wife Swap

"Really Vickie? We all know you WORK!" Real Housewives of OC

"For the love of all things holy! Please writers for  LOST answer our questions!!"

"MMMMM!! That looks really yummy! Why can't I have someone come cook for me?" Anything on The Food Network.


Now I have new shows to talk about and read about on the TWOP (television without pity message board)

Jamie Oliver's Food Revolution:
I remember hearing about his show about the school lunches over in England. I kept hoping he would come over here and do the same thing. I already knew that our school lunches sucked. Yes some of them can taste pretty good. But for the most part, they are all junk food.
Did anyone else GAG when he showed the kids how they made chicken nuggets out of the carcass of the chicken. AND THEN THOSE KIDS ATE IT!!!!
He did the same thing over in England and those kids didn't eat it. They were grossed out and said they wouldn't eat another chicken nugget. What in the heck is wrong with our kids??!!
I really hope he is able to turn around the school lunch program.


Wife Swap:

New season starts soon!!! Yay! More junk tv for me to watch and my husband to hate. This show makes me look at our family and say "Wow, we're pretty normal and my housekeeping skills aren't that bad. "


The Amazing Race:

I've never been into this show that much. But I love this season. I think it's because of the Cowboys! Jet and Cord. I just really like them. I want to see them win. And yes, I have a thing for cowboys.

Okay one show that I haven't watched. Well. I watched 5 minutes and couldn't stand it anymore. I seriously wanted to jump through my tv and throttle those girls. It's that Pretty Wild
OMG! Are there a trio of girls anymore more vapid and stupid as those 3? One who is part of that bling ring and I think the mother had something to do with that The Secret book. I guess that is where they visualize or think happy thoughts or something. Not sure. But anyways. I can't stand this show. It makes those Kardashin chicks look like Rhodes scholars.

I'm sure there are more shows I am missing, but Trading Spouses is on CMT and its the one where the Christian from Kentucky swaps with the Orthodox Jew from Boston.
I never knew that Christians didn't know about Jews or at least have a small idea of how Jews eat and pray.
Thursday, March 25, 2010

Hopeful

That is the key word in this house. Hopeful! Hopeful that things are and will turn around. My husband applied for a job down south, near my family recently. He did the phone interview with the agency and she sent his resume off to the company. No word so far from the company, but it's only been a few days.

Things have just gotten increasingly worse at the company he works for. The owner came back, and has managed to turn everything upside down and tick off everyone who works there. If you want to talk about a hostile work environment just see this company. No one can get a raise because the owner has decided to fund his pet project with the revenue from this company. And his pet project is not even bringing in any income.

So right now, we are hopeful.
Saturday, March 20, 2010

WIINER WINNER!

The winner of the Bean Bag Chair is.................

Prickly Pinecone!!!!!

Thanks agan to all of you for entering this giveaway. I really appreciate it. I have another giveaway lined up for next month so keep on visiting!
Monday, March 15, 2010

GIVEAWAY MONDAY!!!!

CONTEST HAS NOW ENDED. WINNER WILL BE ANNOUNCED IN THE MORNING.
Thanks to all of you who entered. I appreciate all of you making this a success. I will be having more giveways in the future!
I was recently contacted about doing a giveaway on my site. Let me tell you, I had so much fun looking around their site. They have over 200 different stores for you to choose from. From cookware to kids bedding .
Both of my daughters are wanting to redo their bedrooms. They found the perfect bedding for their rooms.
My oldest loved this style. Black and white Kathy Ireland comforter
And my youngest really wants this one: Dragonfly bedding

If you have boys, they have a large selection of sport team bedding, even college teams are on there.

The giveaway from http://www.allchildrensfurniture.com/ is this:





This is the X Rocker Standard Blue Shiny Bean Bag Chair.

I loved my bean bag chair as a kid. They are great from little kids to teens to relax in while watching tv or playing a video game.

To enter all you need to do is visit http://www.allchildrensfurniture.com/ and tell me what your favorite item is.
For extra entries you can follow this blog and follow me on twitter.

Just make sure you do a separate comment for each thing you do.
One for your favorite item, another for following the blog and another for being a twitter follower. So 3 comments total.

I'll announce the winner on Friday. So go out and tell all your friends. :)
Friday, March 12, 2010

Hooray for Friday

Anybody else glad it is Friday? I know I am. The girls had the day off from school. So we all slept in. Katie is still sleeping away. It's also rainy and gloomy outside, and cold. Where did all the nice weather go to?? Come back warm weather, come back!!

I signed up to sell AVON yesterday http://j-kristebrown.avonrepresentative.com go forth and hype it up, buy lipstick, jewelry and even a bra. Did you know AVON sells bras and underwear in their catalogs now?? I didn't. It definitely is not your grandmother's AVON anymore.

Now please please do something for me..... I was contacted by www.csnstores.com to do a giveaway. On Monday I will be telling you the details of what will be given away. I promise it is pretty cool. Or at least I think it is cool. Go tell all your friends to come by on Monday to enter the giveaway. Pretty please with sugar and a cherry on top. :) And go check out www.csnstores.com . They have over 200 stores to shop from.

Hope everyone has a good weekend. Now go browse csnstores.com and avon.
Monday, March 8, 2010

Stay tuned

I'm working on something that I hope to unveil soon. Actually 2 somethings. Both are blog related. I really hope, fingers crossed, that everything will go okay and that I will be able to show them to you soon.

We are still treading along, sometimes letting the water go above our heads. But still treading along as best we can.

The landlord is still being... well.. just.... ugh!! Hot water heater won't stay lit and she still hasn't gotten it fixed. Today the kitchen sink exploded.. well not really exploded.

I had started the dish washer this morning, when I came back into the kitchen, the sink was filling with water. I turned on the disposal thinking it would help. Water starts gushing from under the sink. The pipe connected to the disposal is shooting water, the disposal is shooting water. And everything under the sink is soaked. Trash bags, cleaners, cleaning rags, everything.

And guess what.... Our landlord is out of town for a few days. I hope my husband can fix it. I can't use my sink or the dishwasher. So my kitchen is filled with dishes. GROSS!!

We are seriously thinking of moving out. She is reluctant to fix anything. I have told her numerous times about the hot water heater. So now we are going to write a letter detailing everything that needs to be fixed and have it sent to her certified mail just so she will have it in writing what needs to be fixed.


And just woo hoo for the nice warmer weather... :)
Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Getting Back To Good

I decided to take a short break from blogging. With this weather and my lung condition, I hadn't been feeling too good the past week or so. Just short of breathe more, tired and emotional about it all.
The girls have been grounded. Katie because of her grades, and Mary because she just doesn't know when it is best to keep your mouth closed.
And then it came down to me and my husband and our marriage. Since I was diagnosed it seemed like my husband just checked out.

When I went to the pulomonologist and she confirmed the diagnosis, she mentioned that later down the road, I would have to have a lung transplant. She told my husband there is no cure,period, Only preventive action to hopefully keep it from becoming worse. My husband for whatever reason made this comment,
"I knew there was a reason I took out life insurance on you." He laughed as he said this.

Now I know this is hard on him, and as he said " he was just trying to make light of a terrible situation." But to me this hurt, this embarrassed me. All I could do was laugh uncomfortably.

I brought this up to him, he got defensive about it. He hasn't even asked me yet how I am, how I feel about any of it.

I asked him if he even wanted me and the girls to continue living here. Did he want us to move back to Mississippi? Of course this went into an even bigger fight.

See when we fight or argue, it is like talking to a break wall. He won't look at you, won't acknowledge, he just sits stiff jawed and glares at the wall.

I begged him that I need help, me and the girls cannot be the only ones who do all the laundry, cook all the meals and do all the cleaning. He said he works and that the girls were old enough to help out.

Then he said this, "Well then maybe somebody else needs to get out there and get a job."

We have one vehicle, I cannot work due to being considered disabled, I cannot be working without oxygen. If I could work, I would be working.

It was after that comment that I just told him to piss off and went to bed. He slept on the couch. We didn't even talk at all the next day. I was just so hurt, felt so alone.

Back when he was in the service he acted like this. He would just ignore us. It took everything to get him to talk to us, do anything with us. We went through a year of marriage counselling due to I almost had an affair because even though my husband would be at home, he wasn't. I felt like a single mom even though he was still at home.
Now he is acting the same way again. When he does speak to us, it is to yell at the girls for doing typical teen things, to gripe that their is no money even though he makes more money. he won't look at the bills, go grocery shopping or do anything to see where the money is going.

I told him I just wanted some help. I wanted him to wake up and actually be here for us. Things either have to get back to good or me and the girls would have to go back to Mississippi. I simply can't shoulder doing it all without any help.
Friday, February 12, 2010

What's A Girl Gotta Do?

I spend quite a bit of time online. I enjoy finding new blogs to read, have some laughs and maybe learn something new. I've been blogging for quite a few years, not on here. I started way back in 2001 using Xanga. It was only within the past few years that I learned about the "Mommy Blogger" phenom. And then I heard that you can actually make money from doing this!

I haven't made squat yet.I'm still waiting on my "golden ticket" to gain entrance into the elite Blogher. So when I hear about one mom blogger making over a grand in a month and she's been blogging less than 6 months, I along with everyone else stand up and take notice. It's simple, just post pictures of the deplorable living condition in which you, your husband and your 3 children under 3 live in. Brag about how your husband makes less than a thousand a month and refuse to take any kind of assistance, and rebuff any suggestions. Make sure your kid falls into a mysterious coma but he's fine now and the doctors don't need to be followed up with.

It bothers me that there is a theme going on with people who make money from their blog. Either they have to sacrifice their children on the alter of the all mighty ad revenue. Be Bat shit crazy, or a combination of the two.

I know blogging is hard work, meaning it takes time to build up an audience, to manufacture your "brand'. What is bothersome is that the outrageous takes center stage. Would any of us have known about the one who got fired for blogging about her job if it hadn't gone viral? What if you are already well off, marry even more well off and then present yourself as just a little wife from the sticks. Just like with the blogger who reveals in being poor, wears it as a badge of honor even to the detriment of her children.
It is all a car wreck. I think as humans we gravitate towards the outrageous. This explains how big reality shows are. Jersey Shore, Real World, American Idol.

We don't want to read about a mom just living her life, doing the laundry, ironing, helping with homework. Being too tired when the husband is feeling randy.

That is why I think I will start blogging about a reformed stripper named Babs. Babs is a 40 something singleton, who used to be a stripper. That is until her sister and brother in law were killed in a tragic accident while shopping for chandeliers. Babs got custody of lil Muffy, Dickson the 5th and Lil Rhodes. Babs will encounter plenty of scorn from the upper class for wearing white after labor day, not having a french mani and pedi, and for having a better boob job. Along the way she meets all the men who visit the strip club, got lap dances, and maybe finds love with the hunky pool boy/professor.

Or maybe I will just take pictures of my dog and cat, and the deer who seem to think they own the road here.
Tuesday, February 9, 2010

When It Rains, It Pours

When it rains problems, it seems like the flood gates just explode and it all comes down.

1. Somehow my paypal got hacked and someone stole $150.00. They spent it on some kind of game tokens for Zynga through facebook. So we went $150 in the hole and then some as things went through and the funds weren't there. That was just the beginning.

2. Our insurance will only pay half of the cost of my oxygen rental. Once our deductible has been met, it will go to a 80/20. But this added expense of my oxygen rental plus all my medicines and the doctor visits has eaten away any funds we had wanted to save by moving.

3. My oldest is failing almost all of her core classes. She's not turning in her assignments, or when she does turn them in they are late. She was on medication to treat ADD, but it seemed like all we were doing is upping them everytime we went to the doctor. We stopped taking them last summer. She was doing okay. Not all As but Bs with Cs.
We are meeting with her teachers on Friday to see what can be done. What sucks is that they don't retain them if they fail anything. I know without a doubt that is what kept me from bringing home bad grades, I didn't want to fail a grade. That and I knew if I did my butt would be grass. I would still be grounded.
Nothing seems to work though. We've grounded her, praised brings an F up to a D. We've taken away everything. My husband is tempted to get her an orange jumpsuit that says "Prisoner of Dad. Because I am failing 7th grade." He wouldn't but it sure is tempting since she seems to just not give a crap!

4. This same daughter almost fractured her hand this weekend too. She accidentally slammed it in the door. It's not broken, Thank God, but it is sprained. How in the heck she managed to slam it in the door is beyond me! She had just gotten in a ton of trouble for lying about doing her tutoring and her grades.

5. My disability claim was denied. Not because I am not disabled, but because I don't have enough work history. I had really hoped I would be able to get something. Just so I can help out money wise. That was the whole reason for me completing my degree. So I would be able to get a good job, that paid more than just my gas money.
So now I am looking for anything I can do from home. Thinking about Avon, just something I can do until I finish my degree. Then maybe I can find work that will be okay for me to do.

6. We did our taxes. Come to find out we are making 10 to 15 thousand less than what we were making when we first moved up here. No wonder things have been so tight and just miserable for us. So I have been trying to find ways to make some money. Selling books on amazon, thinking of getting my daughter to help make her drawstring bags to sell. Anything.

Just so this post isn't all me whining and complaining. Some good news.

The Saints won the Superbowl!! WAY TO GO SAINTS!!!!!

I passed my history exam yesterday!

Our Chihuahua will hold a pacifier in his mouth like a baby! Not really news, just something funny to share.
Thursday, February 4, 2010

Book Review

I review book for the company now called BookSneeze. The book I reviewed was
"The King and Dr.Nick: What Really Happend to Elvis and Me" by George Nichopoulos.



It is about Elvis and his personal doctor, Dr George Nichopoulos.I would recommend this book only to the most diehard Elvis fan. Even then, one might be a little disappointed it is not more in depth.
Dr Nick recounts his life with Elvis from what seems like a very distant standpoint. Maybe this is him still protecting Elvis. At times the book comes across as being written by someone who did not have such a close relationship with the man the world called The King.
It is clear though that Dr Nick loved and cared for Elvis for deeply. He only wanted to help Elvis overcome any addiction and to help him become as healthy as possible. But when Elvis died suddenly and unexpectedly the press needed someone to blame. And Dr Nick was there.
One needs only to look at the death of Michael Jackson to see how quickly the press will pounce. Too many people simply could not face that Elvis was dead, that he died not from a drug overdose, but from a heart attack.
Dr Nick was unfairly attacked by a press and public who wanted answers. They wanted someone to blame and Dr Nick was the perfect scapegoat.

*I received a hardback book in exchange for my honest opinion. I was not paid for my opinion in any way.*
Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Guilty Pleasures

We all have them. Those things we secretly enjoy. The TV shows we watch and would never tell someone at a dinner party. The things we eat knowing it is oh so bad for us, but oh so good. Most people do a top 10 list of their guilty pleasures. I have lots more than just 10. My guilty pleasures could fill a book!

1. The Real Housewives franchise- It all started with the Orange County women. I was immediately sucked in. Then they brought in more cities, New York, New Jersey and Atlanta. I don't know what is funnier, watching these ladies on TV or reading the stories that show they are nowhere near "rich and fabulous status" In fact almost all of them are BROKE BROKE BROKE!

2. I would much rather read US Weekly than Time or Newsweek. Who needs to learn about the nation when Brad and Angie might be splitting for good?!

3. I like to listen to the Backstreet Boys-Hangs head in total shame- There is no explaining it. None at all!

4. MTV Cribs- Yeah, seeing a 20 year old that has a nicer house, car, clothes, and even dog can send you into a depression bemoaning how at 12 you thought you would be a famous pop star. Regardless I still watch it. They houses are so big they could be considered a small country, they have more cars and shoes than real brains. Ever notice they never show you a library full of books? But the closets are to die for!

5. Glittery Things- Jeff Foxworthy was right, rednecks love shiny things! For some reason things with glitter and/or sequins just attract me. Should I be wearing a shirt with glitter on it? Probably not.

6. Teen Lit- I blame it on Twilight. Twilight is the sole reason I started reading Teen Lit again. I bought the whole series, and then the LJ Smith, her supernatural series from my teen days is awesome!

7. Staying in my PJs all day long. I'm a stay at home mom. Okay, my kids are in school all day. I'm a mom and I stay at home, so nah! Unless I am going somewhere or expecting company. I pretty much stay in pajama pants and a t-shirt all day long. Some days I even switch it up and add a sweat shirt, but I don't like to dress fancy for the dogs and lone cat. It makes them feel under dressed.

8. Dog Clothes- We have a Chihuahua. Well he's a Chihuahua/Pekingese mix, but looks like a full bloodied Chihuahua. I like to buy the dog clothes. "He needs a jacket." I tell my husband. "It's very cold outside."

9. Wife Swap or Trading Spouses- Don't tell me you don't watch it too! It's just a train wreck. From the Balloon boy parents who were on there, to the crazy Louisiana woman. You want to watch it just so you know your family is sane.

10. Going to Sam's Club or Costco and hitting up all the samples- When Sam's Club first started I couldn't believe they would give out food. For FREE! Granted I was about 10 at the time. Even now at 33, I still love seeing the little cart there handing out free samples.
Anyone else feel a bit guilty for trying a sample and then not buying the product? I've bought some things just because of this.


So those are at least 10 of mine. What are your guilty pleasures?






Monday, February 1, 2010

Being a Recessionista Sucks

We decided last year that we were going to move. We needed to move. There was just no way could we continue to live in our previous house and be able to keep our heads above water. Even just renting we were paying an outrageous amount of rent. People would drop their jaws in shock whenever they would hear just how much rent we were paying. Granted the subdivision had a pool, well a four foot deep pool. It had a club house with a small workout facility. But it was in a really hilly neighborhood, driving there in the winter should be considered an Olympic sport. All winter you could hear people trying to get out. And a backyard, what backyard. We didn't even have a backyard.

We were there for 3 years. 3 years of paying a double mortgage payment. We were kind of forced to move anyways. The company my husband works for opened a new facility north of where we were living and moved all essential staff up there. It was a long drive for my husband every day. Dealing with rush hour traffic and what we Kansas City people call The Triangle during those hours. When my husband got a job offer making more money, he went to the owner of the company, the CEO and his boss, and told him. He counter offered. Company X countered. My husband's boss countered, told him he would give him a monthly bonus for a year, match the previous offer from company X on one condition. We had to move. They would pay all moving expenses, but our new residence had to be within X amount of miles from the new facility and we had 2 weeks to find a place or the offer was null and void. And he had 10 minutes to give him a response.
Needless to say, we were stuck. The offer from Company X was a yearlong contract with benefits with the chance that it would become permanent. My husband didn't want to take the chance with the other job, so we ruefully agreed to the terms.
An hour later, Company X sent my husband an email. They sent another offer. Six figures, full benefits, bonuses, and he would be head of his own department. But it was too late, my husband had already signed a contract (my husband's idea to make his boss stick to his end of the deal)

I was ticked!! We didn't want to move. We loved our neighborhood. The girls loved their school. Plus school was starting back up in a week. We hurriedly came up north of the river to try and find a place. One in a good school district and one we could afford. It was not an easy task. We had to up how much we would pay in rent. It was next to impossible to find a place renting for under a $1000 a month up here that is not in the ghetto or a complete crap hole.
We found our last place and even though it was more in rent then we wanted. We thought with his raise and the bonuses we would be okay. We under estimated how much utilities and the cost of living would be. Husband's boss stated he had no idea rent would be so much up here for us. (The man is completely clueless when it comes to how much anything costs. (He just tosses down a credit card and signs a receipt)
We almost didn't get the bonus because of some wild hair that jumped up the owners butt. Instead of getting it in one lump sum, we got it broken up into payments. So that delayed us.

We found this new place on Craigslist. It is in the same school district. A pretty quiet community. It's just the house. It's smaller. And it needs work. I don't think the owner has updated anything in here since the early 90s. Once again we were just desperate to get out from under a huge rent payment and into something cheaper. Well this is cheaper, but the owner seems to want us to fix everything and then just send her the bill.
The breakers keep flipping. I'll have on the TV, start the dishwasher and maybe cut on the microwave and the breaker will flip. Plug in something in the living room, the breaker will flip.

I really wish my camera worked, because I would show you my fridge that has duct taped door handles. Yes you read that right. DUCT TAPED DOOR HANDLES. It was manufactured in June of 1991. She won't replace it because it works just fine. We are trying to be nice, she just got a divorce, the last tenants split after 2 months, leaving trash and stealing anything they could. I called her and told her about the breaker box and she started crying on the phone. CRYING on the phone with me!? She didn't want us to fix it and take it out of Feb.'s rent. She wanted to either have my husband fix it with her buying the parts or have someone fix that will let her pay by credit card. Apparently she is not making much money and needs this month's rent. Well, I need to know when I leave the house; a breaker isn't going to flip because I have a lamp on in the living room!!

The good thing about this house, it is on the lake. A beautiful private lake and the backyard are to die for!! It is just huge! A three tiered flower garden. Nice flower beds all over the backyard. A nice paved patio. In short it is perfect for entertaining. Just what we wanted in a backyard. If only the rest of the house was just as nice.

I keep telling myself it is only for a year, just so we can pay off his truck and pay down some other bills. Hopefully, my fingers are crossed, not that my husband got his VMware certification. He will get a raise. Also that we won't be in this place for 3 years either.
Have any of you downsized in any ways? Will you ever go back to how it was before if things get better?


* I'm so glad that ya'll like my girls blogging on the weekend. They had a lot of fun doing it too. They kept asking me what people were saying. One good thing is that it makes them work together and not fight. J


Sunday, January 31, 2010

Teen Weekend-Parents, Stop Yelling!

We teens and tweens agree that yelling at us just puts more stress on us. You parents may think that is a good way to get your point across.

When you constantly scream and holler at us, it puts alot of stress on us. Parents might not think about the stress it puts on us teens and tweens. Most parents think we aren't stressed out or that we don't have anything to stress about. But we teens and tweens have tons of stress.

We have to work very hard in school. We worry about having friends, or keeping up with our chores around the house. Screaming at us isn't the way to go about communicating with us.

You could try speaking in a calm tone of voice. If that doesn't work, just ground us until we can learn.

Coming from a teen like me, I hate being grounded just like any other teen. But I mostly hate being yelled at. I'd rather be grounded.I think just grounding us is much better than yelling and putting more stress on us.


Saturday, January 30, 2010

Teen Weekend

Both my girls want to have a blog. I'm not too keen on the idea, but I did tell them that every weekend. They can write a post on here. So Saturday and Sunday will be known as Teen Weekend. They will talk about whatever teens and tweens are thinking about.

So without further ado, here are the 2 Sisters blogging......

Hi everyone! I'm Mary, the tween and I'm Katie, the teen. Today we want to talk about the stupid punishments that we still get in middle school and high school.

How do teachers expect us to act our age when we still have to do things like think sheets and going to the safe seat?

Mary: As a student in 6th grade, teachers are always pretty.... well annoying, but I'm not talking about that, I'm talking about the high expectations for grades and behavior but then they treat us like we are still in kindergarten or something. Think sheets should be for the little kids, not us in middle school and high school.

Katie: You wouldn't think that in middle school and high school we would still have to be writing out what we did wrong and our feelings on it, but we do. We still have to do this baby stuff we did way back in elementary school. Since they treat us like we are almost grown up, they should give us adult punishments.
They could send us out in the hall to calm down if that was needed. Give us detention, or give us the choice of getting a zero in the class or going to the Principal's office.

In short, we both agree, that having to do think sheets and going to the safe seats is not an effective punishment. We're really not learning anything from it. Most of us just roll our eyes when told we have to do it anyways.


Stay tuned for tomorrow's edition: "Parents: Stop yelling and telling us to do things over and over and over again. We heard you the first time.
Friday, January 29, 2010

How to make Healthy bad..

We try to eat healthy here. Try to. I bake not fry our french fries, chicken, and other things. I always make sure we have a veggie with dinner and that the girls drink plenty of milk and at least snarf down a breakfast bar before school.

But sometimes we have a way of making a healthy food very bad for you.

A couple of nights ago, we made Valentine's Day cookies. I wanted to make them sandwich cookies, so I whipped up a simple cream cheese frosting.

All it is: 4 oz of cream cheese
1/2 stick of butter
2 Cups of powdered sugar
1 tsp of vanilla
dash of milk.

We didn't use all of it on the cookies so I just put it in the fridge. Then I saw the apple slices...
Apples..... frosting.... frosting.... apples...

Soooo good. It tasted alot like that cream cheese fruit dip you get at Wal-Mart. Me and Mary, my youngest sat there just chowing down on some apples and frosting. She licked her fingers and looked at me, "only we could take what is supposed to be good for you and turn it into junk food."
Thursday, January 28, 2010

Brothers and Sisters





Yesterday was my brother's birthday. He is now 45 years old. I teased him, called him an old man and that AARP were going to be knocking on his door soon. Being the big joker and teaser that he is, he told me that after they came to visit him, they would be coming to my house.

My brother is almost 12 years older than me. He was just shy of his 12th birthday when I was born. I was a late baby. My mom always said that she wanted a little girl and prayed and prayed that God would give her a girl. And here I am.



I must say having an older brother is awesome. Especially having one that is that much older than me. For one, he could drive me places. I remember many times he could take me to play put put golf, to Chuck E Cheese, and even the water park. He claims it made it easy to pick up girls back then. The sweet older brother doing stuff for his younger sister. Now that I think about it, he did always find some girl to talk to while we were out.

Another thing is that we didn't have the typical brother and sister fights. There was nothing for us to fight over. He let me come in his room, play his board games, even talk to his then girlfriends on the phone. This is why now I get so flustered and have no clue how to deal with my own 2 fighting. Me and my brother never fought as kids growing up. He got married the summer before I turned 10. So it was almost like I was an only child, except he and his wife just moved a modular home on our land. I got to see him every day.

My brother taught me to play softball, to catch pop ups, he took swim lessons with me so I wouldn't be so scared. He even took me to see An American Tail when he had just gotten back from his honeymoon. He was the one who came and got me from school when our mom died. He helped me with my homework almost every night, and when my 2nd grade class needed some ornaments for the class Christmas tree. It was my brother who made 25 wooden hearts, that he cut out, painted and then stenciled the student's name on them.

My brother is the biggest joker ever. He's the brother that will hold you down and tickle you until you 1. Pee your pants or 2. Hyperventilate. He did this one time and accidently spit his gum in my then long long hair. He panicked knowing our mom would get mad at him for "hurting the baby". He thought he could just snip out the gum. He apparently forgot to use peanut butter. It didn't end so well. We had to take a couple of inches off to match up where he cut my hair.

I know lots of people think having siblings so far apart would mean they wouldn't be close. Nothing could be farther from the truth. Me and my brother are as close as any siblings can be.

I don't care if we are 70 and 82. He will always be my Bubba.

Happy Birthday Bubba.




Tuesday, January 26, 2010

I wonder....

Things have been crazy here, but not so crazy that I can't look around and wonder why....

Why does my oldest daughter decide to eat with her fingers when she has a fork? Yes, she has been taught proper etiquette and knows better. But she still decides to pick at food on her plate with her fingers. Just what is her response when I or her dad corrects her? People in other countries eat with their fingers. But we're not in other countries, we're in this country and more over, this house which is a dictatorship.. lol!

Why am I still addicted to video games at 33 years old? My husband managed to get a emulator for the Wii. We can now play all the "vintage" Nintendo games, like Super Mario Bros. Me and my husband have been acting like teenagers playing Super Mario Bros 3.

Katie, the oldest, smarted off and said that looks so easy. She hasn't been able to beat one single level. Her excuse? The game is for us old folks and that we have had more practice.

Why is there a biography for Stephenie Meyer, the author of the Twilight series? I saw this at Target a few days ago. While I commended the lady for writing a vampire series that has millions of followers. I wonder what there is to tell. She had a dream, a very vivid, somewhat sexual dream, and wrote it down. Now why couldn't I have done that? Dang it! Maybe I will start writing about my own weird dreams, and throw in sparkley vampires and hot werewolves.

Why is it taking so long for LOST to come back on? I'm ready NOW!!! I want to know things. Who is Jacob? Are they dead? Is it heaven, hell, purgatory? Will Charlie aka Dominic Monaghan make a cameo? Will Boone?

Speaking of Boone. Is anyone else watching The Vampire Diaries? I loved FLOVED the books when I was a teen. Me and my best friends must have read the books over and over again. Dreaming of our own Stephen and Damon.
There are alot of things that are different from the books, but overall they are doing a good job of keeping LJ Smith's vision in the series. I would love to see if they would either make a movie or a tv series for The Secret Circle, Dark Visions or The Forbidden Game. That would be awesome!

That is all. Right now I am jonesing for my Wii fix. If only NCIS LA would hurry up and end. I could finish kicking my husband's butt in Super Mario 3.
Monday, January 25, 2010

Button Button

Thank you Cassie for the button. I finally figured out to put it on here with the box below it. Thanks to Shabbyblogs.com.
Sunday, January 24, 2010

Catching Up

I am slowly trying to get caught back up with everything. Visiting people's blogs, catching up on my course work that I am way behind in, and housework.

I am really wanting to add my followers buttons on here. So if you have one, just comment so I can get it. I haven't gotten one yet. Does anyone know a place that makes them or the program you can use?

As far as college goes, I am going to a college online. I won't mention its name, but I am not so sure I am satisfied with it. I am going for my BS in Social Science, to teach. I really just want my degree in History, but I was having a hard time finding a college where I could go online. But anyway, this college, you don't get regular grades, you either pass or fail. You don't have instructors, you basically just do everything yourself. You either write papers that are graded by anonymous people, that you can't ask questions to. Or you go and take a proctored test or the entire subject.
The last test I took, History 1865 to present was not even really about the history, but more about the philosophy of the time. About progressives, liberal policies, etc... Hardly anything about dates, people and places.
So right now, I am looking into finding another college.

I went out this week with my mini oxygen tank. I didn't need it that much, so I just put it in the cart and used it when I started getting winded. Funny how suddenly store associates are wanting to help you. I felt bad for my girls though, they went with me to the grocery store, and I know it had to be embarrassing.

I've been doing alot of research on natural cures for emphysema, breathing conditions, etc.. On top of using my pulomonolgist, using my inhalers. I now use Spiriva. It's a once a day medicine. I really like it. And I use my rescue inhaler when I need it. Plus I started taking more of my vitamins. C, B12, D, Iron.
Thank you for all the prayers and good thoughts sent my way. They are much appreciated and I know they are working.
Wednesday, January 20, 2010

This and That

Today is a lazy day. Hump day, almost the weekend. Not too much to report today. So it'll just be one of those random posts.

Am I the only one who thinks Heidi Montag, I'm sorry Heidi Pratt is out of her ever loving mind!! What sane rational 23 year old has 10 plastic surgeries at one time? Including having 2 cantaloupes put in her chest and then wants them bigger. And then tells a news reporter that she is telling girls that beauty comes from within!!

Her and her flesh colored beard (Thanks Joel McHale) husband creep me the heck out! I know it is all an act. It has to be. No one can be that annoying and lack common sense. Please tell me it is all an act. That somewhere someone, Ashton, is going to jump out and say "You've all just been punked!!"

I broke my glasses AGAIN!! And because our vision cards haven't come in yet, I super glued them back AGAIN. I really need to get to WalMart or somewhere and get me a new pair. Along with my contacts. You should see how bad they look. Worse than the nerd with tape around the nose piece. I spilt some of the super glue on the lens so I have little glue drops in my line of sight.
But without them I am blind as a bat.

I had to sign my oldest daughter for tutoring. I'm going to try out Kaplan online tutoring. Maybe it will help her with math and reading. Both her weakest subjects. Has anyone tried them before? If so what did you think?

Tomorrow I'm going to cut my hair, probably short. Above my shoulders. It is about midway down my back right now. I just hope that the hair dresser doesn't do that , "Are you sure you want to go that short" speech. It is my hair, I am paying you, so get to cutting. It's not like I asked you to buzz cut me. Just start snipping.

I had my oxygen delivered to me yesterday. We now have this steel tank of oxygen in the living room for me to refill my portable mini tank with. It looks like one of those cryogenic tanks too. And when I fill my mini, it scares the crap out of the cat and dogs.
Lucky for me I only have to use the mini when I am winded or going to be doing alot of walking. And then I have one to use while I sleep. I need to buy an O2 saturation monitor, so I can keep an eye on my oxygen stats.
Monday, January 18, 2010

Is this some kind of Stephen King novel or what?

We've had this thick fog hanging over our area for the past 5 days or so. It reminds me of that movie, The Mist, by Stephen King. Where the government was doing experiments and all these huge bugs came out of the mist and attacked people. It's kind of creepy actually.

I went to the new pulmonologist today. She was baffled as to how I could have emphysema and COPD at my age. She did another alpha1 antitrypsin test just to make sure it was correct. The original test said it was negative meaning my liver is making this protein to protect my lungs like it supposed to.
She sent my chest xrays off to a specialist who only looks at chest xrays. She had never seen a case like mine either. I did a a few more breathing tests, all which came back with bad results. She recommended that I begin using oxygen at bedtime and when I am out and about during the day running errands, going shopping, etc...

I almost started crying in the office when she told me if things did not improve she would suggest I have a lung transplant. I think she could see that I was scared along with my husband, as she said that she knew all of this had to be scary for me, and that she and the staff would get us through it all. And that she had seen older people with much worse cases.

She also asked if she could use me as a case study with some colleagues. I agreed because I want others to find out more about cases like mine.

I'm not sure if my dad is taking any of this too well. On Sunday his best friend died of a sudden heart attack while hunting. He wasn't found until he was already long gone. When I called my brother to tell him about my test results he said that my dad broke down yesterday upset about my condition and about his best friend.

I really hope this is a wake up call for him to stop smoking too.

Thanks again for all of ya'lls support. Oh and my doctor got a kick out of my accent. She said she knew I wasn't a Kansas City native and at first thought I was from Tennessee. Close enough. :)
Sunday, January 17, 2010

Answers for Questions

I just wanted to say THANK YOU SO MUCH for all of your kind thoughts and prayers. They mean so much to me. I wasn't sure whether or not I should start talking about what is going on with my health or not. I'm glad that this is helping raise awareness for others.

For those that wonder how long I smoked- I started smoking casually when I was 15 and it increased as I got older. My mom had just passed away and I started hanging out with some not so nice people who were into smoking and drinking.. so yeah. I am 33 years old and have probably smoked a little less than half my life.
I always smoked lights or ultra lights. Like that really makes any kind of difference. They all contain nicotine. I tried to quit several times and would start back up again. I really really loved imported cigarettes from India. The cloves, the vanilla flavored ones just tasted sooo good.
I finally quit for good last year in Febuary. I used the patch the whole time and found other things to do with my hands like doing embroidery or crocheting. I also keep tons of sprees (my candy of choice) and pistachios to snack on.

Is it hard to quit? Oh God yes!! For me it is like trying not to eat when you are hungry. You just crave it that bad! It can be done. It sucks at first, really really sucks. But find the way that works for you and just do it.

I never in a million years would think that I would be out of breathe at 33. I had just thought it was taking longer for my lungs to come back from smoking. Guess what, your lungs never really recover from smoking.

This past Thursday I had to go into to see my general practitioner. I couldn't get in to see this new pulmonologist until Monday and I really didn't feel like going to the ER again. She tested my O2 level after walking around the office. It was at 84!! Normal O2 levels are 98-100. This was after I had only walked, just casually walked 4 laps.
She gave me a rescue inhaler and ordered an overnight O2 test. This is where they hook you up to a O2 sat machine. They put a little clippy thing on your index finger while you sleep to see how your oxygen level are while you sleep. Lucky for me, they had a medical supply company bring out a machine to me and they picked it up in the morning.
She also ordered some blood work to see if I have a genetic disorder that would cause me to develop this lung condition at such a young age.
I won't know any of the results until I go see this new pulmonologist tomorrow. And I get to do some more tests tomorrow.

I have to say that the rescue inhaler has helped me more than the Advair. I get immediate results from it. And you have bad days and good days. Yesterday was really good. I only had to use the rescue inhaler twice. Today, my chest feels a little tighter and I'm more short of breathe. But I think that might be because I am nervous for the doctor visit tomorrow.

I know for some people quitting smoking seems completely hopeless. You can do it though. I promise as bad as it is to quit, you can do it. There is light at the end of the tunnel. You won't always have the horrible withdrawl. If you can get through the first week, you can make it a month and then after a month 6 months.
It can be done. And what does it hurt to at least try.
Thursday, January 14, 2010

Scared straight

I'm not sure how to title this post. It isn't joyful or comical or even remotely happy. I'm never sure whether or not to talk about anything medical or having to do with my health. I always think that people want to read about happy things, funny stories, not how bad someone's health is.

But since this is my blog, my little diary on the web, I wanted to get it put down in black and white. For prosperity.

I had mentioned in an earlier post that I found out I have COPD and emphysema. I had to make an appointment early this morning because I just couldn't breathe. My pulmonologist didn't have any openings until next week, so I just went to my general practitioner.

I don't think until today that it really sank in just how serious my condition is. I couldn't even walk around the office without getting out of breathe and getting shaky. I am pretty sure that my pulmonologist is going to put my on oxygen. I asked my doctor just how bad she thought my COPD was. She told me that it was severe. Meaning I have lots of wheezing even when I use my inhalers, that doing simple tasks are nearly impossible for me, and just how my quality of life is pretty bad because of it.

You know, I never thought I would be talking about quality of life at age 33. Can I just say that I'm scared? That I'm worried about what is in store for me? My family? My children? I'm just scared, worried, not sure what I should do. Never thought I would have my dad, who just turned 67 today, asking me how my health is.

And I feel stupid. Stupid for smoking all those years and having that typical young person attitude. "Oh it will never happen to me!" But it did. Now I am paying the piper. Paying the piper dearly.

I'm probably annoying to our friends who smoke now. I tell them, beg them to please quit. And they do the same thing I probably did, grin sheepishly and say how hard it is to quit.

Is it hard to quit, heck yeah. But it is so much harder to be dealing with this.
Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Mom VS. Dad

Do any of you have those moments with your significant other when you just look at each other and wonder how you could have such different stances on child rearing.Raising your children.(I hate that word, rearing, it sounds so just... well it sounds like you're talking about butts. You know your rear end.)

Now that the girls are getting older, it seems like my idea of parenting and his idea are on completely different ends of the spectrum. I'm on the end of being more understanding because I'm a girl and remember what it is like to be a tween/teen girl. He's on the end of being not a teen girl.

He was raised a lot differently than me. While my parents let me be more of a kid, he was working and constantly doing chores around the house. So he thinks the girls should be doing all these chores all the time. One time he and his younger brother decided to play ninjas and kicked a hole in their closet. Well, instead of telling what they did they hid it with their coveralls. This was in the spring mind you. Later come winter, their mom found the hole in the closet. They had to move all of their stuff to the barn. All of it... clothes, dresser, beds, everything. And sleep on the floor in the living room. Until their dad felt like fixing the hole.

Now, maybe this was a deserved punishment, but I think it was extreme. And since my husband was raised with this kind of parenting, he sometimes wants to use the same on the girls.

I just had to keep my room clean and occasionally unload the dishwasher. And the one time I put a hole in the wall behind my door, I didn't have to move all my stuff to the barn. I just told my dad and he fixed it.

Before the girls reached these tween/teen years, we just wanted our girls to be polite, use please and thank you, call adults by Mr/Mrs/Miss so and so. And all those other things. I think weekends are for the girls to have fun and relax. He thinks they should be filled with doing chores around the house and doing homework.

Do any of you out there have a different parenting style from your spouse? Is one of you strict and the other more relaxed? Do you fight over whose style is better?
Sunday, January 10, 2010

The Wii!

My husband brought it home Friday night. A guy at work was selling his entire Wii system and all his games. So we have spent the last day and night playing Rock Band, butchering various hits from The Police, Black Sabbath and Jet. Plus getting a work out playing various games.

I loved my Nintendo back in the day, but I LOVE the Wii. At least it is giving the girls and myself some physical activity since we can't go outside.

Besides the Wii, we have been watching movies. GI Joe was a disappointment for my husband. He was expecting it to be more like what he grew up watching. The characters are the same, but it is no longer GI Joe, real American hero.


Oh by the way, I loved hearing about everyone's weird dreams. At least I'm not the only one who dreams some really out there stuff.

I hope everyone is staying nice and warm this weekend. And that no one has any broken pipes.
Thursday, January 7, 2010

It's sooo cold even the ice is complaining

I guess this will go down in the history books. The coldest winter in 20 something years. Now I have something to tell my grandkids. And talk about when I get old.

We had to go to the grocery store tonight or the one stop called WalMart. I hadn't done a good grocery run since Christmas.So we were out of everything, dog food, bread, eggs, and all the good food. You know, the frozen pizza, yummy snack cakes, and chips. My girls are eating me out of house and home. I swear teen boys have nothing teen girls. They can eat!!

WalMart was dead. I have never seen a WalMart quiet. Hardly anyone was there. Just a few people here and there. And dumb teenager running around the place like it was Worlds of Fun. It was actually kind of nice. No having to maneuver around tons of people. You could tell there had been a run on some staples but they still had plenty of stuff.

Does the weather make anyone else get sensitive? I have just been such a crybaby the past couple of weeks. Everything just makes me tear up, get upset.
I'm thinking it is the cabin fever and all the bad weather. How do the people up north do it?

Plus my kids are driving me INSANE. It's like they are possessed little heathens running around in my kids bodies. Have they been taken over by the pod people.
Don't they know I need peace and quiet to watch all the new reality shows? The Real Housewives of OC came back tonight, Celeb Rehab, One Big Family... too many shows, too little time, and 2 girls that won't stop fighting for me to hear what nasty thing Tamra is saying about Gretchen or is she fighting with Vicki now? See... I missed it all while trying to get my daughters to stop arguing.
Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Was It Something I Ate

The past few nights I have had the weirdest dreams. Freud would have a field day with me if he was alive today. Incidentally he died on my birthday. The man also liked cocaine, both as a pain reliever and for rec use. Or at least that is what wikipedia is telling me. :P

The first dream I had a few nights ago had me at the doctor's office, being weighed (a nightmare for any woman!) But then she told me my weight- 396 pounds. And she said it so chipper and nonchalant. Like it was no big deal. But me, I had thought I was at 115, I look down and suddenly my ass and stomach start growing and blowing up right before my eyes! Like I'm one of those bouncy houses!
I swear I woke up from that dream grabbing my own butt and stomach!

The next night I dreamed we baptized the cat. Yes, you read that right. We baptized the cat. But not the dunky dunk baptizing, the Presbyterian sprinkle baptizing. But it wasn't just us doing this at home, all these people were at this church to have their cats baptized. So this church was filled with all these cats. Yellow ones, white ones, black ones, Siamese ones, and so on.

So it is our turn, and we bring Pretty Girl up to the pastor who is wearing this fuzzy looking suit. This blue and white checkered, fuzzy suit. So he tries to take Pretty Girl from me and she starts batting at the fuzzies on his jacket and gets her claws stuck in it. So my daughter comes up, the only one who can even hold the cat for more than a minute, she puts the cat on her head and starts dancing around.
Finally she will let the pastor guy hold her, instead of doing the sprinkling thing, which they think will freak the cats out, they are using a pastry brush and brushing the water on their heads.
I woke up after fuzzy suit pastor said all our cats were saved now.

I have no clue where in the heck these dreams came from. Was it the chocolate donut from Quik Trip I ate the night before? Do I have some issues with cats, pastors or my weight?

If I went by the dream interpreter it says cats bring bad luck, but does having the cat baptized trump that. Are they now good cats? Dreaming of a church means good luck. Have the cats been saved from a life of crime? Saved from a life of bird and mouse killing and waiting to throw up in the dead of night?

I couldn't find anything on what a dream means when you blow up like a huge balloon gorilla outside a car dealership. Is it a secret way of telling me to stop eating Quik Trip Donuts and watching Food Network before bed?

What am I going to dream next? That we take the dogs to be exorcised? Why can't I dream something awesome and write a book about it? Just no sparkly vampires please.
Tuesday, January 5, 2010

The Weather Outside is Frightful.....

You know how the song goes....Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow....

Here's my version. The kids are acting frightful, Kahlua in my coffee is delightful, please stop snowing so my kids can go back to school, before I go insane, go insane, go insane!!!

Okay, so it doesn't really rhyme and the other is so much better. But not we are having a blizzard at Christmas (Thanks Santa!-NOT!), below zero actual temperatures, and then more snow just when they are supposed to go back to school! And now they don't think because of the snow we are getting tomorrow, that the kids will have school for the rest of the week. That means my 2 girls will be stuck in this house with me for another week.

I was all set to do my joyful "you have to go back to school dance" and now this. I had my week all planned out and you nasty snow had to go and mess it all up! I was going to get a haircut, actually go to Borders and enjoy looking through all the books and see what bargains I could find, send off some gifts to people, just a whole day for me. Yes ME!

Now, yes I love my girls, love hanging out with them and having girl time. We usually go to lunch and do a movie every other week. But because of the snow and bone chilling temps, they haven't been able to go out. And because of my COPD, I can't be out in the extreme cold. But you need that time apart. I need it to keep my sanity. Because I can only talk about Justin Beiber and break up fights for so long before the rest of my hair turns gray!

And yes, I'm whining! And last night I burst into tears when my husband just told me to go outside if I had cabin fever.

"You just want to take me (SOB) to the emergency room (CRY) for my lungs, let me sit on your chest (SOB) and you tell me how it feels...... and then I run off and cry.

Now he didn't mean for me to actually go outside. This he tells me after he comes in the bedroom.

"I was just playing and then you flip out." He tried to explain.

"I know." I replied. I'm just sick of being in a place where it snows every winter. Give me the south where it only snows once in a blue moon, or like it has been this season.

It's been so cold here, the cat stands at the back door and does her little "cat laugh" at the dogs when they have to go outside to do their business.

I swear she is! Looking at them and laughing, saying "I can use the potty indoors! Silly stupid dogs! Who's more evolved now!"

I don't blame you, Miss Kitty!
Sunday, January 3, 2010

Baby Goes Boom Boom

No, I'm not talking about sex or something taking a number 2. I'm talking about Baby Boomers. More specifically my father, or Daddy. Every southern girl calls her father daddy, usually like this, "Daaaadddyyyy!" Even southern men will still call their father daddy. Don't ask me, we just do.

But anyway, my dad is part of the generation known as the Baby Boomers. He was a WW2 baby. He was born in January of 1943. He just now decided to retire and start collecting his check for all his hard work. He was self employed from 1963 until 2009. Now that he is retired he has more time to do those other things, like wander around in the front yard, picking up pecans and bringing them in the house to use as decorations or add more stuff to his already overfilled barn. I swear with his barn he could be a contender to be on the show "Hoarders." He just has that much stuff. Carpet remnants, papers from the Reagan administration, even my old saddle from my rodeo days. Lucky for all of us, it is in the barn and not the house.

You have to be careful when visiting my dad. The last time we were there, he had stated buying large amounts of mayo and coffee. Not just any kind of mayo or coffee. Blue Plate Mayo and Folgers coffee. You see awhile back the little grocery store that has been there forever ran out of Blue Plate and had no clue when they would get some more. And then that thing happened with a coffee shortage and price jacking. So now whenever my dad sees a jar of Blue Plate or jug of Folgers, he has to buy it. Never mind that he could open his own coffee shop or sandwich shop with the amounts he has. He MUST buy more!! And if you go to the store for him, he will tell you to buy more.
Along with Lays Wavy Chips, Bounty towels, and Sunbeam bread. And don't try to fool him and buy one of those other brands or God forbid, generic! I did that one time, he griped like an old lady at Bingo, who missed the big jackpot by 1.

My dad has also gotten into conspiracy theories. Remember back when all the e-coli was turning up in lettuce, spinach and in your Taco Bell orders? My dad thinks he knows just exactly how it is getting there.... The Mexicans picking the produce are crapping in the fields. He says this while... wait for it.... we are eating at a Mexican restaurant. And just keeps right on eating his chimichanga.
He also thinks the government is always thinking of ways to screw you. He would be just the person those campaign people would love to talk to. They would just start telling him that the opponent was going to steal his social security check, go to the boat and spend it all on nickel slots and hookers. And my dad would call everyone. That is if he even hears the phone ring. With his hearing aids that start ringing and even then he can't hear that. He is deaf as a post.

So if you ever met my dad, be sure to speak up, just smile and say yes sir when he starts mumbling, don't eat anything in the fridge( God only knows how long it has been in there) and he keeps the moonshine in the cabinet by the fridge.
Saturday, January 2, 2010

12 years.. One of Us Must Be Certifiable

12 years ago in a galaxy far far way called Witchita Falls, Texas I married my geeky husband. We got married at the justice of the peace there. It was right over the Oklahoma border and where every service member went to get married.

Why??
Because they had no waiting period and required no blood test. Just show the clerk your military ID a birth certificate and BOOM you know have a nifty caligraphied piece of paper that says you're married. If only everything in life could be so easy.

For all of you who like to read love stories, here is ours. I wouldn't call it a love story. It's nothing like Ice Castles, or some sappy Nicholas Sparks novel, which incidentally I love his books. :) We just happened to be two people who met each other at the right time and the right place.

So hop in the time machine with me if you will to June 1997, Lawton/Fort Sill. I am 20 years old, living with a guy out of convenience, and have my oldest daughter. I was working that night at a bar on the strip right outside the Army post.

In walks my soon to be husband with an Army buddy of his. He was down from Kansas with his National Guard unit for their 2 week training. Que Dolly Parton song that talks about a guy coming in with tight blue jeans. Yep, he had on some tight blue jeans that night along with some cowboy boots too and a western shirt.

It was his 21st birthday and even though he had wanted to stay back at the barracks and sleep, his buddy would not let him.

Back then I had dyed my hair a bright red. Not just red, but bright bright red. I think it was a mistake, hopefully. Who knows what I was thinking back then.

We met by me breaking up an argument with him and his buddy. His buddy, who had a little too much to drink, spilled beer on my "soon to be" husband's boots. Now, if you know cowboys, you know they value two things, you don't mess with these things.
1. Their hat- you don't touch it, don't grab it, Just keep your grubby mitts off it. And number 2. Their boots- They may be scruffy, unpolished, and have holes in them, but you don't mess with them.

In all honesty, it was a play argument. My honey wasn't going to drag him out to the parking lot. In his own words, "I just wanted to get your attention."

Get my attention?! Have you ever heard of just saying, "Hi there, You look like a nice person. Want to talk?" Noooooo.. Let me pretend to get in a fist fight to get you to notice me. That works soooo much better.

But in fact it did work. I started talking with him. Finding out he was from Missouri . Just finishing out his National Guard duty with the Kansas guard. He was going to college, working full time. All of that fun stuff you learn about someone.

As the 2 weeks started coming to an end, he asked me if I had ever been to Missouri. Not since I once went to camp back when I was 12.

"Want to come there again?" He asked.

"You do know that I have a 1 year old daughter, right?" I asked. This usually makes most guys turn in the other direction.

"Of course, do both of you want to come to Missouri? With me?" He asked.

And I couldn't resist those baby blue eyes of his. And I did something that if either one of my girls ever ever EVER did what I did, I would kick their asses all the way to kingdom come. I went off with a guy I had known for 2 weeks.

I packed mine and my daughter's bags and told my boyfriend of convenience that I was done with him. And set off on an adventure with a Yankee turned Mid West cowboy/geek.

*My husband wants me to tell all of you that he is NOT a geek. He may like Stargate and work in IT but he is not a geek.*

(Yes he is people. No he doesn't read IT manuals for fun or have a pocket protector, but ask him about the IT field and the truth comes out)


We may not have the perfect marriage. We fight, ignore each other, sometimes even tell each other that we really don't like the other one, sometimes one of us will even sleep on the couch because we're so mad, and we most definitely drive each other crazy.

But in the end, we both know the other is the only one we want to live out our sunset years with. He may never read our life story to me when I'm old and senile, but he definitely would buy me enough books to read for an eternity.

So it is today, that I say: I'm glad I took that trip to Missouri with you, glad we stuck it out all those times we wanted to walk away and glad that we mark 12 years together.

LOVE YOU MOSTEST!!
Friday, January 1, 2010

Resolutions For 2010 Or Things I Can Obsess About

Someone tell me who started this thing called making New Years Resolutions? Was it some Tony Robinson freak? Someone who just wanted to look all cool and be able to thumb their nose at all of us who by February have long forgotten what in the heck they even said they were going to do? Who am I kidding by January 2nd I will probably break one or two of mine.

But in keeping with tradition, here are some of mine.

1. I will try to be a better wife. Meaning, instead of leaving the clothes folded on the dryer or hung up in the laundry room, I will actually put it away where it belongs.

2. I'll try not to spend too much money. Stop going to sales and then trying to do the woman justify thing of saying how it was 75% off so I really didn't spend that much.... Men don't get that. They only see it as spending money. No matter how much percent it was off.

3. I will cook more. I actually like to cook, not that I am a Julia Child, Paula Deen or Rachael Ray. But no one has ever gotten food poisoning... yet...

4. I won't nag my husband about stopping smoking. I will offer my kind and gentle support to him. Unless he becomes too much of a jackass and then I may have to smother him with a pillow.
5. I will listen more and talk less. Or I'll just blog.

6. I'll talk to my kids and play games with them more <<<<< This one is actually a serious one. I can't make fun of this one.

7. I'll watch less junk TV. Only after the new season of Big Love, LOST, The Tudors, and a few others are done with. In fact I'll have my girls join me watching and it can double as family time. (I'm kidding) Maybe

So there's a few of mine. I'm off now to finish cooking some black eyed peas and a roast chicken for dinner. (See... I'm keeping resolution number 3)