No, I'm not talking about sex or something taking a number 2. I'm talking about Baby Boomers. More specifically my father, or Daddy. Every southern girl calls her father daddy, usually like this, "Daaaadddyyyy!" Even southern men will still call their father daddy. Don't ask me, we just do.
But anyway, my dad is part of the generation known as the Baby Boomers. He was a WW2 baby. He was born in January of 1943. He just now decided to retire and start collecting his check for all his hard work. He was self employed from 1963 until 2009. Now that he is retired he has more time to do those other things, like wander around in the front yard, picking up pecans and bringing them in the house to use as decorations or add more stuff to his already overfilled barn. I swear with his barn he could be a contender to be on the show "Hoarders." He just has that much stuff. Carpet remnants, papers from the Reagan administration, even my old saddle from my rodeo days. Lucky for all of us, it is in the barn and not the house.
You have to be careful when visiting my dad. The last time we were there, he had stated buying large amounts of mayo and coffee. Not just any kind of mayo or coffee. Blue Plate Mayo and Folgers coffee. You see awhile back the little grocery store that has been there forever ran out of Blue Plate and had no clue when they would get some more. And then that thing happened with a coffee shortage and price jacking. So now whenever my dad sees a jar of Blue Plate or jug of Folgers, he has to buy it. Never mind that he could open his own coffee shop or sandwich shop with the amounts he has. He MUST buy more!! And if you go to the store for him, he will tell you to buy more.
Along with Lays Wavy Chips, Bounty towels, and Sunbeam bread. And don't try to fool him and buy one of those other brands or God forbid, generic! I did that one time, he griped like an old lady at Bingo, who missed the big jackpot by 1.
My dad has also gotten into conspiracy theories. Remember back when all the e-coli was turning up in lettuce, spinach and in your Taco Bell orders? My dad thinks he knows just exactly how it is getting there.... The Mexicans picking the produce are crapping in the fields. He says this while... wait for it.... we are eating at a Mexican restaurant. And just keeps right on eating his chimichanga.
He also thinks the government is always thinking of ways to screw you. He would be just the person those campaign people would love to talk to. They would just start telling him that the opponent was going to steal his social security check, go to the boat and spend it all on nickel slots and hookers. And my dad would call everyone. That is if he even hears the phone ring. With his hearing aids that start ringing and even then he can't hear that. He is deaf as a post.
So if you ever met my dad, be sure to speak up, just smile and say yes sir when he starts mumbling, don't eat anything in the fridge( God only knows how long it has been in there) and he keeps the moonshine in the cabinet by the fridge.