Catching Up

I am slowly trying to get caught back up with everything. Visiting people's blogs, catching up on my course work that I am way behind in, and housework.

I am really wanting to add my followers buttons on here. So if you have one, just comment so I can get it. I haven't gotten one yet. Does anyone know a place that makes them or the program you can use?

As far as college goes, I am going to a college online. I won't mention its name, but I am not so sure I am satisfied with it. I am going for my BS in Social Science, to teach. I really just want my degree in History, but I was having a hard time finding a college where I could go online. But anyway, this college, you don't get regular grades, you either pass or fail. You don't have instructors, you basically just do everything yourself. You either write papers that are graded by anonymous people, that you can't ask questions to. Or you go and take a proctored test or the entire subject.
The last test I took, History 1865 to present was not even really about the history, but more about the philosophy of the time. About progressives, liberal policies, etc... Hardly anything about dates, people and places.
So right now, I am looking into finding another college.

I went out this week with my mini oxygen tank. I didn't need it that much, so I just put it in the cart and used it when I started getting winded. Funny how suddenly store associates are wanting to help you. I felt bad for my girls though, they went with me to the grocery store, and I know it had to be embarrassing.

I've been doing alot of research on natural cures for emphysema, breathing conditions, etc.. On top of using my pulomonolgist, using my inhalers. I now use Spiriva. It's a once a day medicine. I really like it. And I use my rescue inhaler when I need it. Plus I started taking more of my vitamins. C, B12, D, Iron.
Thank you for all the prayers and good thoughts sent my way. They are much appreciated and I know they are working.

Answers for Questions

I just wanted to say THANK YOU SO MUCH for all of your kind thoughts and prayers. They mean so much to me. I wasn't sure whether or not I should start talking about what is going on with my health or not. I'm glad that this is helping raise awareness for others.

For those that wonder how long I smoked- I started smoking casually when I was 15 and it increased as I got older. My mom had just passed away and I started hanging out with some not so nice people who were into smoking and drinking.. so yeah. I am 33 years old and have probably smoked a little less than half my life.
I always smoked lights or ultra lights. Like that really makes any kind of difference. They all contain nicotine. I tried to quit several times and would start back up again. I really really loved imported cigarettes from India. The cloves, the vanilla flavored ones just tasted sooo good.
I finally quit for good last year in Febuary. I used the patch the whole time and found other things to do with my hands like doing embroidery or crocheting. I also keep tons of sprees (my candy of choice) and pistachios to snack on.

Is it hard to quit? Oh God yes!! For me it is like trying not to eat when you are hungry. You just crave it that bad! It can be done. It sucks at first, really really sucks. But find the way that works for you and just do it.

I never in a million years would think that I would be out of breathe at 33. I had just thought it was taking longer for my lungs to come back from smoking. Guess what, your lungs never really recover from smoking.

This past Thursday I had to go into to see my general practitioner. I couldn't get in to see this new pulmonologist until Monday and I really didn't feel like going to the ER again. She tested my O2 level after walking around the office. It was at 84!! Normal O2 levels are 98-100. This was after I had only walked, just casually walked 4 laps.
She gave me a rescue inhaler and ordered an overnight O2 test. This is where they hook you up to a O2 sat machine. They put a little clippy thing on your index finger while you sleep to see how your oxygen level are while you sleep. Lucky for me, they had a medical supply company bring out a machine to me and they picked it up in the morning.
She also ordered some blood work to see if I have a genetic disorder that would cause me to develop this lung condition at such a young age.
I won't know any of the results until I go see this new pulmonologist tomorrow. And I get to do some more tests tomorrow.

I have to say that the rescue inhaler has helped me more than the Advair. I get immediate results from it. And you have bad days and good days. Yesterday was really good. I only had to use the rescue inhaler twice. Today, my chest feels a little tighter and I'm more short of breathe. But I think that might be because I am nervous for the doctor visit tomorrow.

I know for some people quitting smoking seems completely hopeless. You can do it though. I promise as bad as it is to quit, you can do it. There is light at the end of the tunnel. You won't always have the horrible withdrawl. If you can get through the first week, you can make it a month and then after a month 6 months.
It can be done. And what does it hurt to at least try.

Scared straight

I'm not sure how to title this post. It isn't joyful or comical or even remotely happy. I'm never sure whether or not to talk about anything medical or having to do with my health. I always think that people want to read about happy things, funny stories, not how bad someone's health is.

But since this is my blog, my little diary on the web, I wanted to get it put down in black and white. For prosperity.

I had mentioned in an earlier post that I found out I have COPD and emphysema. I had to make an appointment early this morning because I just couldn't breathe. My pulmonologist didn't have any openings until next week, so I just went to my general practitioner.

I don't think until today that it really sank in just how serious my condition is. I couldn't even walk around the office without getting out of breathe and getting shaky. I am pretty sure that my pulmonologist is going to put my on oxygen. I asked my doctor just how bad she thought my COPD was. She told me that it was severe. Meaning I have lots of wheezing even when I use my inhalers, that doing simple tasks are nearly impossible for me, and just how my quality of life is pretty bad because of it.

You know, I never thought I would be talking about quality of life at age 33. Can I just say that I'm scared? That I'm worried about what is in store for me? My family? My children? I'm just scared, worried, not sure what I should do. Never thought I would have my dad, who just turned 67 today, asking me how my health is.

And I feel stupid. Stupid for smoking all those years and having that typical young person attitude. "Oh it will never happen to me!" But it did. Now I am paying the piper. Paying the piper dearly.

I'm probably annoying to our friends who smoke now. I tell them, beg them to please quit. And they do the same thing I probably did, grin sheepishly and say how hard it is to quit.

Is it hard to quit, heck yeah. But it is so much harder to be dealing with this.

And She Returns

And she's back...... Just in time for Christmas and the New Year.

I've been dealing with some really intense health issues. I quit smoking back in Feb. and have not had one since then..... but I guess that just wasn't good enough.

I went to the hospital a few weeks ago with chest pains and feeling short of breathe. After a chest X-ray and a CT scan, and a visit to a pulmonologist, I found out I have COPD and emphysema. I'm going through a lot of adjustment right now. Dealing with finding out about this condition, we moved to a house with fewer steps. Stairs had been a struggle for me lately. I would get half way up and feel like I was drowning. And just with anything health related, it is really scary.

Compound that with being very homesick. I've slowly been missing my Mississippi roots. I really thought I could just go for visits and be fine. But it's not fine. I miss seeing my family and I want to see my old friends and catch up. I miss warm winters (warmer that what we have here) and just all the familiarity of my surroundings. I really pray that either the company my husband works for decided to open an office in MS or he finds a job there. Wishful thinking on my part I know.

Just if you can please keep us in your prayers.