Hateful

I don't know why, but yesterday I just felt hateful. Yes, hateful. I was irritated by everything. Yes, that time of the month is coming soon. The time when I feel like a Hungry Hippo let loose in a marble factory. I can't get full, feel like I could suffucate my husband with a pillow and the bloat, well the bloat is something I don't want to talk about.

Maybe it is because I have gained weight since I quit smoking and got sick. None of my clothes fit anymore. Cept 2 pairs of jeans and a few pairs of dress slacks I have from the last time I quit smoking and the weight gain came.
I complained... Okay, well whined to my husband last night after he came home that I didn't have any shorts or pants that fit anymore.
He must have left his brain at work or had a man brain fart because he said this.
"Well, you've got 2 choices either buy new clothes or go on a diet."

Now maybe this shouldn't have hurt my feelings like it did. But it really did. It stung. Like he had just said, "Go on a diet fat ass!"

I've also had somewhat of a body image problem. Not like aneroxia or bulima issues. Just issues with how I look.  After my mom died I gained weight, not a lot but it was noticable. And I tend to gain weight in my lower belly, or my pouch as I call it. A group of girls decided that it must be because I was pregnant and strarted that rumor. Image being 15 and having that rumor started about you around school. So you have to deal with your mom dying and kids thinking you are pregnant. FUN! not!
My dad would also pick on my mom about her weight. It wasn't mean spirited, just him joking but my mom always took it to heart. 

I think guys just don't realize how our weight affects us. They don't know that when we ask if we look fat or complain about not fitting in our clothes the proper response is:

"You fat? You look gorgeous!"

"You're not fat. You're perfect."

"I love you just the way you are." Okay so I stole that one.

But guys do you see a trend there. Take note and follow that.

Hopeful

That is the key word in this house. Hopeful! Hopeful that things are and will turn around. My husband applied for a job down south, near my family recently. He did the phone interview with the agency and she sent his resume off to the company. No word so far from the company, but it's only been a few days.

Things have just gotten increasingly worse at the company he works for. The owner came back, and has managed to turn everything upside down and tick off everyone who works there. If you want to talk about a hostile work environment just see this company. No one can get a raise because the owner has decided to fund his pet project with the revenue from this company. And his pet project is not even bringing in any income.

So right now, we are hopeful.