It is our Wal-Mart here in Kansas City that takes the cake. The only thing I go there for is the vision center and the photo center. That is it! If I have to do a big trip, I hit up a Super Target.
But after having the girls home for 5 days after the snow closed the school for 3 days, we were running low on everything from dog food to milk. Since the roads were still like an ice skating rink, there was no way I was going to attempt to drive it and wind up in a ditch somewhere.
I had to get the Husband to drive me.......
Let me just say this, my husband has been wonderful about taking me places when we have bad weather or when my emphysema is really bothering me.
But he does NOT like running from store to store and he was not going to drive to the Super Target in the next town. So Wal-Mart it was. We thought if we just did a small run of the things that were most necessary we could get in there and back out unscathed......HA!
While he parked the truck, I went to use the bathroom. I can hear of you now.
But I had to go....BAD! I mean like a kindergardener crossing their leggs bad.
I cover the toliet with half a roll of paper, hover and then hear from the stall next to me.....
"I don't know what's wrong? I've had this bad diaherra for 3 days now."
Cue me giving a look to the stall next to me. Someone is on the phone in the toilet and going to the bathroom." BLECH!
She continues on, "Yeah, I'm in the bathroom right now. I can't hold anything in. I've drank a whole bottle of Pepto and it still won't stop."
I think I did the fastest pee in the history of peeing. Then scrubbed my hands when I washed them, and dumped my whole bottle of hand sanitizer on them too.
We hadn't even gotten a cart yet and it was already beginning.
We raced through getting dog food, those girly things, and were making our way back to Electronics when we heard someone yelling.
We thought it was some customer yelling at their kid, spouse, boyfriend, whoever... right?
No. This was a Wal-Mart employee yelling, no SCREAMING at/for another employee. She was at one end of Electronics and from what we can assume, he was in the photo department.
This is what we hear, along with the rest of the store that has stopped to stare.
A red faced John appears around the corner.
Female employee, still screaming- I'VE BEEN CALLING FOR YOU FOR 10 FREAKING MINUTES. JESUS CHRIST!
Then she literally throws the phone at him.
"Let's hurry up and get out of here before she throws something at all of us too." My husband said.
On the way to the grocery side, we almost get run over by an employee pushing a dolly full of boxes. No apology, they just kept on going.
In another aisle, I can't get to the food I need because the shelf is being stocked and the employee will done in a minute. 5 minutes later, I'm still waiting.
Never mind, I'll just go to the grocery store to get that I say to the employee.
Okay was the reply.
Finally, we are done, except standing in line. I stand in line while my husband gets the truck and waits out front for me.
As I'm standing there looking at all the tabloids and trying to decide which one to buy. Do I want Poor Kendra and her divorce or Valerie Bertinelli's wedding.
I'm going for Kendra when I overhear the lady behind me on her phone. At first I think she is talking to me since she is wearing one of those little bluetooth devices.
"What else cures diaherra?"
I jump. It's the diaherra lady. I look down. Different shoes. This lady has on those UGG boots.
Another diaherra person?!
I was about to tell her buttermilk. It was what my mom made me drink when I got it, nasty but it took care of business.
Thank goodness I noticed the little blue light blinking in her ear. I went back to studying the other tabloids.
"It started a few days ago. I've still been going to work though"
I'll save you the details of the rest of the conversation. She went into great detail about her diaherra.
People if you don't want others hearing your conversations, don't talk LOUD, or come up with a secret word. In this house we call diaherra, The Skittles.
Finally, it is my turn to check out. I've lined up all my stuff. Cleaning supplies up front, cold stuff all together, bread and chips. So I won't find lysol in with my apples.
Checking out can be an experience in its self. Either you get the checker who ignores you completely. Or you get the one who has to make a comment about every single one of your purchases.
I got the one who liked to comment on my purchases and fondle them as well.
She asked about all of my purchases. Told me I could get my lysol cheaper at Dollar General. Where did I find the apples that come in the Toy Store bag.
One of the sandwiches I bought looked like it didn't have much meat. The list goes on and on.
I was glad when I got my total, could swipe my card and leave diaherra lady behind.
Do you have a Wal-Mart horror story? Feel free to share it on your blog or tell me about it in the comments.
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**I know not all Wal-Marts are this bad. There are some that I like. Just not this one.**