Friday, February 11, 2011

Time Marches On

I went dress shopping with my girls last night. Their first semi formal dance is tonight. A Valentine's dance. It is one milestone I never got to do with my own mother. She died  passed away when I was 15. It will be 20 years in October and I still can't say the words she died. She died and my father lost his mind.

I never got to pick out a dress for a dance with my mother. The one and only formal dance I went to, I went dress shopping with my brother's wife a few months after her death. My mother missed out on that with me. I wanted this to be the best time for my girls. I wanted to do what I would have wanted to do with my own mother had she lived to see the day.

The girls both brought a friend and it was 5 hours of running in and out of dressing rooms. Trying on the wild and crazy dresses, the long prom dresses, and being upset because the one dress you REALLY REALLY like doesn't fit. And even trying on the dress that they know without a doubt will get them a NO! Like the Jessica Rabbit dress my oldest tried on. If she was about 10 years older, it might have been appropriate. Maybe, if her dad never ever saw her in it.  It is one of those you hide in the back of your closet when the parents come to visit.

At the first store only Katie was able to find a dress she liked. A pretty blue and black dress with a silver sequined band around the waist. It's a really cute dress. |
After that we all went to dinner at this pizza place, Stone Canyon Pizza (really really good)- I never knew teenage girls could eat some much! A full medium pizza and then half of another one.
Then it was off to find a dress for Mary. Drive to another store and hope they have that one PERFECT dress.
After trying on another 10 or 20 or hundred. I think at that point I lost count. It was down to 2. One pretty white and black with a pink ribbon around the waist and a grey and black number.
She finally picked the grey and black one. She said she just couldn't breathe in the other one.

Both of them are going to look so beautiful. And it's going to be a reminder at how short time is. How fast your children grow up and that before you know it they will have their own children and be going through the exact same thing.

For me, this was a milestone I reached with my daughters that my mother never reached with me. I wonder what we would have done. Would I have argued for the dress that made me look 10 years older? And stomped my foot and declared "you just don't understand!"
Would we have laughed over the outrageous colors and styles of dresses and then tried it on anyway just to see if it did look cute?
It was a beautiful sadness to reach it and not have my mother to share it with. I wish I could call her and tell her that I survived my first dress shopping experience. But all I could do was smile and know she was looking down on the 3 of us and smiling.
And saying "Time Marches On.... time marches on."

Here's to the next milestone.