Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Parenting Fail

We all have them. Those moments of parenting that we would rather not talk about, that we wish had never happened. They make us hang our head in shame and wonder why in the world that nurse handed that innocent baby over to us. After all they didn't even come with an instruction manual. Everything comes with a instruction manual now days. Even a flashlight comes with some kind of instructions. Why can't kids?

Why? Because it's a great big joke the universe is playing on us. Just kidding. I wish kids came with one. Maybe some of mine wouldn't have happened then.

Like the time, both Katie and Mary snuck out of the house with the dog and walked 2 blocks to the park only to be spotted by an officer's wife and she grabbed Mary.....

Let me go back to the beginning.

We were stationed at Fort Polk, LA, living in post quarters at the time. The girls were still toddlers, Katie was 4 and Mary was 2. From their bedroom window they could see the playground. It was just a slide and a couple of swings, but to them it must have looked like the Holy Grail of playgrounds.

We already knew our 2 girls were sneaky little things. Sneaky about using the Tower of Doom to get on the countertops and on top of the fridge to get the cookies. They could also be very very quiet when they were being sneaky, trying to get into something they shouldn't or trying to go outside without one of us. I think they were ninjas in a past life. Quiet little boogers!
Because they liked to try and go outside without us, we put additional locks on the doors. Ones high up. You wouldn't think they would have been able to reach them, even with a chair, but we doubted the power of the Tower of Doom!

The night before their grand escape we had watched movies and pulled out the sleeper sofa. All of us slept downstairs that night.
Very early that Sunday, they pushed the chair next to the backdoor, constructed the ultimate Tower of Doom. Katie's booster seat, a tin of popcorn and a couple of phonebooks. All of these things put Katie at just the right height to unlock the top locks, the chain and slider.

Off they went to the playground, bringing the dog with them on their little adventure. All was good until an officer's wife happened to drive by and saw them playing alone. She picked up Mary, and Katie abandoned ship and ran home with the dog trailing behind her.

The officer's wife just followed Katie and the dog to our house. I woke up when I heard the back door slam shut.

I asked Katie "what she was doing?"

She wanted to help by letting the dog out and that is why she had made the Tower of Doom. I would have believed her until their was the knock at the door.
It was the officer's wife bringing Mary to us. We had a good laugh about it, but I could feel my face burning with the fires of a thousand suns. I felt like the worst mother in America, no make that the world. It was only soothed a bit by the lady telling me her own kids had done it at every post they had been stationed at. She said she had to put bells on all the doors to keep her kids from trying to go outside.

This picture was taken soon after the Great Playground Escape. Which was preceded by the Great Scissors Debacle. See Katie's hair. She chopped it all off the weekend before. For 6 months people thought I was dressing my little boy like a girl.

If you ever feel like some of the things you have done to your kids, rest assured, some other parent has done worse.

For proof, go to Funniest Parenting Fails - You'll feel like the Greatest Parent in the World after seeing those photos!


Heather said...

I am not really impressed by your Parenting Fail (we all have those). But I am impressed by your girls! Holey Moley they are good - 2 and 4 that is so awesome. I can't even imagine what trouble they got into as they got older.

Kim said...

Thank you for sharing, because it makes me feel so much better ; ) I've got a couple horror stories of my own, but I'm not brave enough to tell people!! I keep telling myself that it's a good thing my kids are so fearless and curious . . . yikes!

Country Mouse, City Mouse said...

My kids have never done this, and I am surprised because there is a playground around the corner!

Dean said...

Love it! Isn't parenting an adventure? lol

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